Cause and Effect
by TappinCastlefan
Summary: Multiple near-death experiences and a hostage situation lead to revelations, confessions, and agreements.  *SPOILERS for 4.07!* Castle/Beckett


_This is based entirely off of any spoilers I've seen or read for 4.07. So STOP NOW if you don't want to know. _

_I'm actually really nervous about posting this, mainly because I've never written anything strictly based on spoilers and speculation before. I enjoyed writing this, and I hope you enjoy reading it. Unfortunately, I finished after my beta went offline for the night, and I'm too eager to wait for the morning (it's 1 AM, my time), so it's not proofed, all mistakes are mine._

_Again, this is based entirely from photos and a few news releases, so please don't think that this is really what will happen. We can only dream. _

_Disclaimer - You know why it's here. I don't own it. _

_Read on!_

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><p>"<em>The <em>_game __of __life __is __the __game __of __boomerangs. __Our __thoughts, __deeds __and __words __return __to __us __sooner __or __later, __with __astounding __accuracy.__"__  
>-Florence <em>_Shinn_

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><p>"There's one by the front entrance, and the woman and another one of them just went to the back with one of the clerks." His voice was a whisper, frantic and hurried. Castle was crouched down behind one of the desks, his mother's hand firmly gripped in his. Her pulse was racing, he could feel it.<p>

Maybe he was just feeling his own blood rushing through his veins.

"_Castle __I __thought __you __said __there __were__f our? __The __officers __out __here __said __there __are __four.__"_ Her voice strained, pushing past the tension.

"I know-I just-" he heaved. His knees hurt from his position, they were digging into the hard bank carpeting, he could feel every line of texture from the inside of his pants slowly imprinting a pattern into his skin. "I can't….Kate-"

"_Castle, I-"_

"You're going to hang up that phone, and push it over to the corner. Very slowly. No heroics." The voice was deep in his ear. Challenging. The tiniest part of Castle was tempted to pull a Derrick Storm…or a Kate Beckett, and try to take the guy out. But then the rest of him reminded that tiny part that there were three other doctor-robbers in the vicinity. There was also a gun next to his face. So, yeah, rounding on the guy would _not_ be smart.

He could hear Beckett yelling on the other end of the call. She was shouting his name, and making calls to the officers around her. For the briefest of moments he thought he heard Alexis in the background, crying out for him.

But he was probably projecting the raging fear that came as a side effect of his writer's imagination.

He swallowed past the lump that had settled in his throat and regretfully tapped the end button on the display. There was no way to be one hundred percent positive, but he was pretty sure that his hand shook when he slid the phone away from his reach. His mother's hold on his hand tightened to a near vice-like level.

"Smart man." Castle didn't turn his head, but he heard the shifting of the man's scrubs as he pulled back the gun. He didn't know which "doctor" this one was - well, it sure as hell wasn't "Dr. Quinn" – but he was pretty sure he wasn't fooling around. "Just sit tight. As soon as we get what we came for we'll be gone. All you have to do is sit here."

He looked at his mother the second the man rounded the desk. There was a look of sheer terror in her eyes that he didn't even know was possible. As much as he had written about that feeling, he'd never quite seen it. There'd been close calls with Beckett before, but nothing like this. Not with his mother.

"It'll be alright," his voice softened to the lowest possible volume, surely a record for him. Martha nodded, shifting slowly to wrap her arm around him when he sat. "We'll be fine. Beckett's the best cop I know, she'll figure it out."

His words of comfort seemed to be empty promises as the hours ticked by in a flurry of hostage demands and frantic searching of the bank. There was a constant stream of negotiations coming from an officer on a megaphone, but the "doctors" were having none of it. They were angry, Castle could clearly tell. So, could everyone else, judging from the panicked faces around him. Whatever it was they wanted was nowhere to be found, and Castle was starting to feel like there was something much bigger going on.

He quickly glanced over to the corner, seeing the blinking light on his phone. It had been lighting up every few minutes with text messages. It was killing him that he was stuck in the spot, unable to move, paralyzed with the fear that he'd never see Alexis again, or Kate, if he pissed off his captors.

There was yelling, and some screaming around him, and all he could feel was his mother pulling him underneath the cover of the desk they had been sitting behind. There was a blast, dust flying everywhere, and paramedics and cops came rushing in. The absolute instant he deemed the coast clear, he was pulling his mother up and running to the now gaping hole in the front wall.

His eyes frantically scanned the crowd of police cars and ambulances. He couldn't see Kate, or Ryan or Esposito for that matter. They were probably behind him, helping the people who didn't have his impulses. There were plenty of uniformed bodies, but it was the breeze of red hair that caught his attention.

They ran, his mother and he, both shouting out to her. The second he saw her face, Rick felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders. He gathered her in his arms as soon as she was in reach, rocking her back and forth as if she were still six years old. His baby girl. He pulled his mother into the embrace, grateful for everything he had. There were tears of relief streaming down their faces, but none of them cared one bit. They were all alive and in one piece. Who the hell cared if his phone was still on the floor of the now-destroyed bank? Someone would find it and bring it to him later.

All he wanted was to take his girls home, and breathe.

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><p>It was <em>hours<em> later when he heard the knock at his door.

"Kate. What are you doing here?"

Her hand drew out from her coat pocket, holding up his phone for him. "Thought I'd bring this back to you. I know how antsy you get without your apps."

He smiled and took the device from her, ushering her inside. "You do know me well, Detective."

"And…I was thinking, maybe we could talk?"

"Sure," he nodded, "you think we could share a drink at the same time, though? It's been a hell of a day."

"Tell me about it. That sounds great."

He called behind himself as he moved into the kitchen, "Take your coat off, stay awhile!"

Kate sighed nervously as she peeled off her coat. The robbery turned into a whole ordeal of a case that blew her day way off course. She was supposed to just be riding along with the paramedics, before everything snowballed. Thankfully, Gates hadn't kept her for too long after they closed the case, and she was able to go home and change. She didn't want to show up here with soot on her clothes and flecks of concrete in her hair. "So where's Alexis? And your mom? I thought they'd be sticking around."

He came back with two glasses filled with generous amounts of wine. "Mother went to share the dramatic tale with a few of her colleagues, and Alexis got a hysterical call from Paige." He handed over her glass, "She was pretty hesitant to go, but I made sure she knew that I wasn't going anywhere tonight, so she didn't need to worry."

"She does worry about you, you know? A lot, from what I can tell."

"Yeah well," he sighed before taking a sip from his glass, "she's been a little bit hyper-attentive since….since the funeral." He chose his words carefully. She would know what he was trying to say. He knew that. There was no need to remind her of what had happened all those months ago. He frowned, thinking of the look on Alexis's face when he told her he was, in fact, going back to the precinct. "How bad was it?" He asked, looking down into his drink.

"Um," she hesitated, trying to find the right way to put it, "Pretty bad. I can't lie to you Castle, she was pretty shaken up. She told me she asked you to stop shadowing me." The last part came out as a whisper. An almost shameful whisper. "I don't want to hurt her, Rick."

"You're not." He looked up and saw the hurt on her face, "I am. But I like…being with you too much to stop."

"I need you to be absolutely sure. And, I think you need to really explain it to Alexis. You know what can happen, Rick, but I don't think you've really discussed it with her. And, she's not an naive little girl anymore, she's brilliant, because of you, and she deserves to know exactly what we're up against."

He nodded his agreement when she stopped, taking a long drink from her glass. "Okay. You're right. I promise, I'll talk about it with her."

"Good." They were facing each other now, standing far closer together than she thought they were when this conversation started. "You know, after we got the confessions earlier, I couldn't help but have this image of little Doctor Doogie Howser threatening you with a gun? Quite the mental picture."

"Why, Detective Beckett, I didn't know you fantasized about me."

"Oh, please, Castle, don't flatter yourself. If anything you should be embarrassed by the idea. You have to admit, it's a funny thought."

"I can't quite imagine it that way, knowing that the guy probably had a good fifty, seventy-five pounds on me, and could've probably beat the daylights out of me." He had intended for it to sound humorous, even though it was technically the truth. But the words left his mouth before he could really think it through, and there was a solemn look falling over her features. "What were you saying? Right before I had to hang up."

"Hmm? Oh, I…I was really worried, just standing out there with the paramedics and the cops and the fire department. And Alexis. There was nothing I could do and all I could think about was what the hell I would do if you didn't make it out alive."

"Well, the Captain would sure be happy-"

"Rick, I'm serious. For a few minutes in the middle, I really wasn't sure. And you sounded so scared on the phone, and then you were gone before I could even come looking for you. One of the uniforms told me they saw you walk away in one piece, but I had to go back to the precinct to deal with everything. I just…I don't want you to think that I don't care about you."

"I know you care, Kate."

"No. I-" She took the deepest possible breath she could fit in her lungs. When she was driving over she thought she was really ready for it. Especially after thinking he was going to die while she was on the phone with him. She _knew_ that there was more for them. More cases for them to solve, more stories to tell. More…everything. She _wanted_everything with him. "I couldn't face the thought of you dying without telling you…that I remember what you said."

"What?" His breath hitched, his eyes widened with wonder and surprise. "You….what?"

"I…know that I basically said I wasn't ready yet, but today…" she looked up at him with eyes filled with fear and care and concern, "god, Rick, I thought you were going to die. And, it made me think-remember being on the ground, in your arms, and how it felt. You said you loved me."

There was an almost questioning tone to the statement, to which, he couldn't stop the quiet 'yes' that escaped his lips. "I meant it. I don't just throw things out like that."

"I know you meant it, and I've sort of known, for a while. I just couldn't bring myself to face it."

"You know, I had a feeling you knew. Just…a gut feeling."

"Well, I really, really want to be able to say it back, and really mean it. I don't just throw things out like that, either."

"I know you don't." He paused, taking in the way she stood before him, her hair obviously recently washed, the bare minimum of makeup on her face, her lip caught between her teeth. The image of perfection, as far as he was concerned. "But then today-"

"Yeah. Today happened, and I would've said it. But, it would be so much more me-more us, if I was…_better_ the next time I get the chance to say it. And I'm not questioning you in any way, I want to make sure that you know that. It's because I want it to really matter for us, so that we can live through it. I don't want deathbed confessions where one of us is forced to go on wondering "what if"."

"So, what are you saying?"

Kate carefully spun her glass back and forth between her fingers, a shaky sigh passing through a thin smile. "I'm saying that I know how you feel, and you know how I feel. And I'm asking if we can be okay just…knowing for a little while longer. Just long enough for me to really figure myself out. I can understand if that's not enough for you, though."

"No," he took both of their glasses, setting them on the glass table in front of his couch, "no, I mean, yes. It's enough, Kate." Without hesitation, he pulled her into his arms, reveling in the fact that she didn't stop him. He felt her relax against his chest, her head resting on his shoulder. "It's enough."

"Are you sure? Because I'm pretty messed up right now."

"That's okay, I'm known for being pretty messed up, too. We can be messed up together. And we'll get there, I promise. You know I always keep my promises," he spoke, his head leaning on the side of hers. She fit so perfectly in his arms.

"I know you do."

They stood there in silence, in the middle of his living room, just breathing each other in. Kate relaxed, taking in the smell of his soap on his skin, and the clean feel of his shirt on his solid body. He was safe. It felt as she imagined it would, being with him. She hadn't even realized until now that the idea had ever truly crossed her mind. At least…to the point of recognizing the feeling in reality.

"Hey, Rick?"

"Hmm." Her head vibrated with the movement from his expression. It felt good. Loving.

"I'm really glad you're alive."

"Back at you, Kate." 

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><p><em>There you have it! I hope it was a good read! Please let me know what you think, I really do appreciate the feedback. <em>

**_Tappin_**  
><strong><em>=) <em>**


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